Girdle Review from Coco’sRetroCloset!

I’ve been pining for a girdle for a while now, and after months of image binging on gorgeous vintage lingerie I can now say I own one.

I had the initial fear that the girdle I would receive in the mail would not be the same one that I saw on the screen, but I am pleased to report that the two looked exactly the same.

 

It’s comfy, cute and gets its job done by making my butt look perky and wonderful. It can be worn as the everyday underwear garment or a whole new spin wearing it as a sexy miniskirt.

I highly recommend Coco’sRetroCloset, and will purchase again from them without a doubt. (Maybe the matching bra this time?)

For now, I am quite positive that retro lingerie is going to be adding onto my never-ending lingerie collection :p

https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/CocosRetroCloset?ref=l2-shopheader-name

https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/256075602/black-or-white-obg-pull-on-light-control?ref=shop_home_active_4

The Forest

the-forest-2016-horror-movie-trailer-title-directed-by-jason-zada-starring-natalie-dormer-taylor-kinney-eoin-macken

Going into this movie, I kind of expected it to be a piece of shit.

Of course, I still stand by believing that basing a horror/supernatural thriller on an actual forest where real people do go to end their lives is not only disrespectful but quite trashy.

In case you haven’t seen the trailer of The Forest, it’s about a young American woman named Sarah who has a nightmare about her identical twin sister, Jess. Sarah finds out Jess was last seen going into the Aokigahara forest; where people go to commit suicide. Still convinced her twin is alive, Sarah flies over to Japan in search of her sister. (Because twin telepathy hasn’t been overdone or anything.)

Okay, number one, how many people can realistically drop all their shit after a single nightmare and hop on a plane and travel across the world. Maybe Hollywood writers are so loaded nowadays they assume that every day people can just fly across the country with ease, or this is just a poor plot hole, who knows.

Honestly, this movie wasn’t THAT bad. There were some good pop up scenes, the actors are decent yadada.

I just feel this movie could be SO much better had this movie not been white-washed. I mean, there really is no good reason why the main characters had to be white. The plot would’ve made way more sense had the main characters been Japanese, but that couldn’t happen because y’know, Hollywood.

It was creepy, was it really essential that the movie had to be set in the Aokigahara forest? Probably not, but maybe the controversy was needed to get people to go see it in the first place.

Meh. It could’ve been better, but at the same time, it wasn’t the worst of thrillers I have seen.

2.5/5

“My Broken Bone,” A Cringeworthy Story

The semester is almost over for me, and for one class we had to give an oral business presentation today. (I’m taking business communications 1.) The presentation could be about marketing, businesses and their histories or human resources; because our class is about communication in BUSINESS.

That would be pretty straight forward, right?

I would have thought so too.

Not according to one of my fellow students who decided to tell us his emotional and distressing time of when he broke his leg and later his parents “ditched” him.

I shit you not.

I’m going to call this idiotic student Joe, which may or may not be his actual name.

So, Joe started off his so-called “business” presentation by talking about how playing hockey was his entire life and what teams he played for and what position he was. (Right wing.) At the beginning, I thought this was some beginning to a marketing presentation on hockey of some sort.

But no, I was wrong. His ENTIRE presentation was about him surviving the ordeal of breaking his leg while he was playing hockey, and to only find out his parents were leaving him to volunteer at the Olympics.

Ok, so number one, his parents never ditched him, obviously they had planned to volunteer at the Olympics long before his broken bone incident. Nobody just drops all their shit at once and flies off to another country to volunteer. Well some people can, but not most.

Two, how does this have anything to do with breaking his leg? These seem like two separate points that have nothing in common.

As if that was ridiculous enough, he had a conclusion slide, as if that was needed, which it wasn’t.

His conclusion?

  1. If you’re a parent, don’t ditch your kid.
  2. Don’t break a bone, especially your leg.

 

Dude, why? What the hell were you smoking? This just doesn’t make any sense.

And to wrap all this up, let us take a look at this very deep, meaningful and above all “business” related slide:

bone

Ok, so he “had to take the bus to school.” Heavens! So do I, just like everyone else who doesn’t have their own damn car.

“I was in a wheel chair.” He spelt wheelchair wrong.

“My parents ditched me.” As explained above, they never ditched him as he had many other family members to look after him while they were volunteering.

I guess I really wish I asked Joe if this has been his most traumatic event in his life, because if it is, he better consider himself fucking lucky.

 

 

 

Dear Parents

dear parents

The title should really be: Dear Lazy-Ass Parents Who Think It Is My Job To Parent Your Own Kid, but that just didn’t have the same short ring to it.

I am a cashier. That’s it, a minimum wage, entry level job. That would seem pretty straight forward, right? You put the crap you want to buy on my counter, I scan your shit and bag it, you pay, I then tell you to have a good day (most of the time however, I wish the opposite,) and finally our transaction is complete. I also help clean the store and repeat the same scripted announcements on the intercom. (One announcement ever fifteen minutes or you’re in a deep shit.)

At any rate, it has come to my attention there is a certain type of parent who rather is 1.) Too lazy to deal with a crying toddler when they say no to them or 2.) They seem to think part of my job is helping raise their child. Oh, my dreams would be set if my store suddenly stopped selling toys; or at least put the toys on a higher shelf. But nope, the toys are on shelves just above the ground, easily accessible for sticky and nose-picking fingers.

Once the kid has found their way to the toy section and found a beautiful second hand stuffed animal or whatever piece of shit they set the heart on that day, the parent decides they will let their kid carry around the toy they so desperately need during their shopping experience because they are too damn lazy to tell their kid that you don’t get a present every day.

THEN when they get to the check out (aka: my register,) the horrible moment comes that the parent just has to tell their kid they aren’t getting that crap toy they so dearly love. Instead of giving their child a firm “no,” they look at ME and expect ME to take the toy away and tell THEIR kid they aren’t getting that toy. I then get an explosion of crying and tantrums. Then the parent tells me to just take the toy away from their screaming kid.

Dude, I’m not going to forcefully take a toy out of a toddler’s hands. First of all, this is YOUR child, not mine. It is YOUR responsibility to teach YOUR kid that sometimes you don’t get everything you want in this world.

Honestly, this has absolutely nothing to do with little kids. They are born egocentric, all little kids are. However, it is YOUR job to raise your child. Now, if I was a kindergarten teacher or daycare worker, then yes, my job would involve help raise children but if we refer to the beginning of this post I am only a cashier.

Bottom line, dealing with bratty kids is not in my job description.

You signed up for that the day you decided to become a parent.

End of Rant.

The Burlesque Show was Awesome!

Last night I attended my first burlesque show. I did attend River City Rumble a year ago, but I feel this show was more focused on burlesque and had way more performances as well as just plain variety.

I had been assisting Ava Strange with their burlesque routine, (one of the selected performers,) so I had been included behind the scenes. While all the organizers were super friendly and outgoing, the complete lack of organization and last minute decisions made the preparation and rehearsal quite frustrating. For one, the performers were selected just two weeks before the show date and the organizers were less then helpful when it came to scheduling, time slots and giving out basic information.

I was half expecting this show to fall apart from what I had observed behind the scenes. To my pleasant surprise, everything went smoothly. It was a super sexy and entertaining show.

My absolute favourite performance was by Attila D Buns. His routine had me cracking up. Jordan Dock was also amazing, who opened the show with a flawless aerial performance.

attilaa

Attila D Buns, who is super friendly and funny by the way.

Everyone at the ticket booth seemed to think I was performing for some reason, so I wasn’t asked to pay when the doors opened. Bonus!

All in all it was an excellent show, and I will definitely be attending the next local burlesque show. Who knows? Maybe a performance by yours truly is something to be seen on the horizon.

#TBT Reading Edition: The Clique

cliqueshit

I treasure all of my beloved favourite children’s books. Mandy, A Little Princess, Harry Potter, Inkheart, The Thief Lord. I still reread these books and always finish them with warmth in my heart. Some children’s books are just brilliant, and still relatable to me to this day.

But then there are some books that I reread while trying to get a hit of nostalgia and I end up feeling embarrassed that I even enjoyed these stories. I use to gobble these particular books down without knowing these books would leave some harmful messages later on and the complete idiocy of it all.

Ahhh yes, the classic teen drama book series that I used to binge-read on, The Clique.

If you’re unaware of The Clique, it’s basically a series about a popular middle school queen bee along with her crew: Massie Block (That’s MASS-ee, not Maisy. I know.) Alicia Rivera, Dylan Marvil, Kristen Gregory and Claire Lyons. Each, gorgeous, mean, privileged and very self centred and concerned only about their current first world problems. (Aka, popularity, beauty, fashion, popularity, revenge, beauty, fashion.)

While the series covers some real middle school preteen issues such as bullying, peer pressure, relationships and acceptance, the characters are the farthest thing from relatable.

When I say that these girls come from wealthy backgrounds, we’re talking billionaires. Despite being only 12 years old at the beginning of the series, the characters are very informed and aware of adult brand names and elite stores.

There is so much materialistic rubbish, it almost looks to me as it is nothing but fluff.

I guess that is why this series is so cringe worthy to me, it is just so shallow and pointless. There is just so much emphasis on designer labels, popularity, the latest gadget, trashing your friends to be on top….it’s just so, nasty.

Bottom line, I am super embarrassed I used to buy each of these books as soon as they came out. Thirteen year old me claimed to not care about popularity and money but she sure spent hours and hours reading about it.

Oh yeah, they also made a movie based on the first book of the series. In all honesty, the movie is shittier than the books. It’s just so silly, but maybe I just am not a twelve year old girl anymore.

My Bra Dilemma

So recently I’ve cut back on a lot of my purchases. I’ve basically stopped buying new clothes and new books. Those were the two big things I would spend my money on.

I’ve completely stopped buying clothes from Roots, my old favourite clothing store. I still love their styles, but c’mon, 60 dollars for a shirt?!  I suppose I’ve really come to the point in my life wear brand names just don’t matter to me. I now buy all my books second hand, and doubt I will ever go back to buying a single book for twenty dollars, I can get five now for five dollars or less, it’s just common sense at this point.

I have now come to a screeching halt with the realization that I need new bras, as I’ve gone down a size. Shit.

I happen to have quite a small ribcage, so no department stores in my city carry bras in my size. (Trust me, I’ve checked.) Because of this, I used to get all my bras at Victoria Secret. Thinking back on it, it seemed absurd that I would spend 55 dollars a pop on a single bra. Do I really want to spend all my hard earned money on a fancy bra?

I thought more about my whole bra dilemma, and began to wonder why I even wear them. I’m not an exceptionally busty gal, and not wearing them feels fine to me. Plus there is that French study that found bras to be quite useless to most women.

Part of me wants to go all hippy and not even have to think twice about this or care what others may think. The other part still has the social expectations instilled in me. “When you develop, you have to wear a bra,” my Mom had told me when I was about twelve years old.

Ugh. So should I try cheap sports bras, stop wearing them all together, or slave my way back to VS?

It’s stuff like this and that time of the month make me wish I was a guy.